I’m afraid to say there is no black card which achieves what you want; however if you are willing to splash and extra colour, here’s some nice cards:
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=208218
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=29994
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=111058
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=21046